“Believe in a beautiful world, because somewhere your beliefs are shaping up your destiny.” - Pratishtha Bhalla
Human beings are called social animals for a reason – they cannot live in isolation, even for their basic needs of food, water, and shelter they require help from other beings. In the past, when man used to live in caves, they would live together and save each other from wild animals. However, in today’s world of social media, most people have limited their social relationships to their mobile phone apps.
This has resulted in increased anxiety levels. A lot of people today are facing depression and loneliness, to the extend, that they end up taking their own life. Having a healthy social relationship is essential for our survival as well as self-esteem. That being said, one still needs to remember that irrespective of your success, fame, or money, you will have people who would criticize you and demean your work. You need to assertively say no to their opinions and continue your journey towards better relationships with people who respect you and are growth-oriented.
Below are five strategies you can apply to create healthy social relationships:
- Initiate the relationship – Most people wait for the right person or the right moment to make a connection. They are scared to be the conversation starter and hence loose onto many possibilities of life. Think of a scenario where you start a conversation with a stranger, either they will ignore you, say they are not interested in the conversation, or they might just get equally involved. If they get involved with your conversation, you might just end up with a new point of view or experience and in case you are lucky, a lasting friendship. So, don’t wait for others to start a conversation with you. Start with greeting that person, move on to a small talk and then find something in common so that you can carry out longer conversation without the scaring the other person off. While you make this conversation, make sure that you are genuine in your interests and remain honest and polite. People feel your vibrations, not only hear your words. The better your thinking, the better will be your vibrations and the easier it will be for you to create a bond.
2. Say no to gadgets – Many people today try to multitask in different ways. The most common of these is messaging while speaking or listening to someone. They work under the illusion that they are part of the real conversation, when actually, what they are doing is wasting others time and effort. It is considered extremely impolite to use your mobile phone while having a real conversation. So next time you want to socialize, keep your mobile to where it belongs, your pocket!
3. Laugh together– Try to keep the conversation light hearted, don’t carry your memories of a bad day at office, a fight with your spouse, or any other baggage to take away your zeal. Keep the conversation light and try to make it funny. When you make someone laugh, you not only win a friend for life but a fan for life. Work on nurturing those fans and help them in their journey as well.
4. Don’t take things personally – Imagine the scenario, where one morning you go to your office and greet your boss, like any other day. However, the boss ignores you completely and keeps doing the work. You quietly go back to your workspace and your mind starts a chatter, “maybe I made some mistake, maybe because I asked for appraisal yesterday, maybe it’s because of the board meeting that is due tomorrow, that boss ignored me”.
If you just take a step back and observe, you have labeled a small behavior with your million thoughts, while the boss was busy managing the documents for his daughter’s admission. He was not even thinking about you the entire moment.
This is just one example of the million things that happen in our day-to-day life and a lot of us start personalizing it without giving it a thought. What you can do instead is, the moment such a chatter starts in your head, pause and tell yourself, “Maybe it was a bad day for him. It has nothing to do with me.” No matter whom you meet in your life, you will find the shade grey and not white or black. Understand that everyone is fighting their own battle, so, the least you can do is stop judging and taking things personally. Concentrate on the positive aspects of any conversation, because what you concentrate on grows.
5. Give people your time, energy and emotion –
- Time: Spend quantity time with them, meet them often. Time is precious. Use it to create memories.
- Energy: In today’s world, we are full of doubts and distrusts. We are scared to trust anyone or sacrifice our needs to help others, for the fear of not getting the same gesture in return. This behavior impacts us not only at a conscious level but at a subconscious level as well. It is a well-known fact that we talk to others more through our body language and tonality that our words. Hence, our negative belief sends negative vibes to others subconsciously, even though me might not utter a single word which is diplomatically incorrect. Hence, be very sure what kind of energy you are emitting, what kind of emotions you are having as it will determine the quality of your relationships. Trust yourself and give without expectations is the way out of this negative trap. You will be surprised how good people can be.
- Emotion: Be empathetic. Listen to understand and not to respond. Understand what they are going through and not what you think they are experiencing. People live their lives according to their perception of reality and not the reality and we all perceive differently. What might be reason of joy for one can be the very reason of suffering for the other based on the story they are living in. Respect their story and accept their point of view and you would notice how easily people are able to relate to you.
Remember this: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”