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His movie MS Dhoni taught me to be passionate towards one’s goals. His movie Chhichhore taught a variety of lessons, including, one should never give up on one’s dream. I was so influenced by the movie I ended up writing about the lessons I learned from it

Knowing he was from the same college as me (DTU), I used to draw so much inspiration from him. Someone who quit engineering to pursue his passion. Someone who set an example of success by pursuing one’s dream and not following the rat race. Everything was picture perfect about his life. He won hearts by his smile and his acting skills.

This was the story until yesterday morning. Post which everything collapsed. The man who stood up against suicide has taken up his own life. I could not get over it. Because he was among the few people who inspired me to pursue my dreams and not take the setbacks seriously.

The internet is filled with his pictures, everyone is wondering why did he do that? Despite being extremely successful how can anyone take their own life? According to norms, suicide is meant for people who fail. But who are those people who fail? How do you define a person as a failure?

We don’t fail in life, we fail in a task – it can be a relationship, a career, a job, a business. None of these define the multi-dimensional aspects of life. Yet we fail to recognise that we are taking failure in one task as a failure for life. We think that we have hit the rock bottom and that there is no going back. We become so scared of our own thoughts that we start running away from them. We try to find people and then we feel that those people would never understand. We push all our small mind chatters under the carpet, putting a fake smile on our face so that no one sees our vulnerability.

Have we failed as human-being? Is it so difficult to be humane? We preach to stop judging yet we end up judging people for their choices. We preach people to talk to us when in need, yet when someone tries to talk to us, we simply ignore their calls. When someone feels sad and shares with us we simply say “Don’t be sad” and we feel nothing about it? Do we fail to be empathetic?

A lot of suicides are committed in the spur of the moment when people feel that their problems are bigger than them and when they have no hope left for the future. In those times what can be done? How can we stop more people from committing suicides, more people to be anxious and stressed? How can we help people to hold on a little longer, be a little stronger?

Let me share with you 7 things that can help people just hold on and try a little more:

1. Meditate – We try to find happiness outside – sometimes in the form of material success by getting expensive clothes, cars, materials, others in the form of our relationship success – the quality of our relationships with others, how we think others perceive us, how we connect with others. Where we fail is developing a deep sense of relationship with our own self. We have around seventy-thousand thoughts per day, but we never take out the time to listen to those thoughts without judgment, we fail to give our self that time. Meditation should be a part of our life. Take at least 5 minutes to listen to your own self, meditate, find your peace.

2. Play it out – Physical activity is mandatory for our mind as well as the body to function properly. When we exercise positive hormones including Oxytocin, Dopamine, Serotonin, and Endorphins are released from the body, thus making us feel positive. If you ever feel low, sad, or alone just go for a walk. If possible go to a park with a lot of greenery or a beach. Be as close to nature as possible. If you have a pet, take him along. If you are up for it, go for a rigorous workout. Just play it out in any way you want.

3. Write it down – Don’t ignore your inner chatter. Write it down. Write down what is the problem? How is it impacting you? How can you find a solution? Who can help you? Be as detailed as possible. The moment you write it down, it is no more an issue for the mind. It will help you let go. If anyone feels that their life has been useless so far, just write down what was the smallest act of kindness you did? Whom did you help out? Were you able to make someone smile? When you are feeling hopeless, just find the best quotes for yourself, write it down, and put it at a place where it’s always visible. This has personally helped me in some of the most difficult times of my life.

4. Decide to write your story not become a story – There are two ways of living our life, either we give up and become a story or we write our own story. For the people who had committed suicide, they have become a story for the world to talk about for a few days. People pity them. No one wants their kids to be like the person who gave up and committed suicide. They would never be remembered for the right reasons, they would never be able to leave a legacy behind. So, we need to understand this – life is not meant to be fair, we are meant to be strong. Till we are alive, we have a possibility to change our story, to write on the storyboard a new ending. Once life is finished, the possibility of changing the story is finished. So before you give up, write down your story – the story you want your kids to remember – the story you want your grandkids to feel proud of. Heroes are survivors, who held on to their beliefs and dreams and were stubborn enough to change the world.

5. Find your purpose – This is the most important part of the whole story. We all are born for a purpose. What is your purpose beyond your professional or relationship identity? Who are you meant to be in your journey in life? How are you meant to contribute to society? Sit down with yourself and find your purpose. Then set your goals according to your purpose and start working on them. Make your goals big enough for you to say, “I have to achieve so much before I die”. Yes, I am telling you to make yourself busy bringing your dreams to reality, that you don’t find time to get caught up in the negative loop.

6. Find a coach or mentor – The most successful people across the globe have mentors. Mentors understand our problems. They understand how life works. This education should have been provided in schools. But unfortunately, our schools are busy teaching geometry, history, and other things that are much smaller when compared to the art of living life. Most people don’t understand the power of their minds, the power of their words, the power of their being. They are simply dragging themselves from one day to another. Having a coach helps in finding paths that could work, make fewer mistakes, and more than that, not repeat the same mistakes. Learn the art of implementing positive changes in your life by shifting your mindset from your mentors. Once you know how to do it, you would be able to deal with your problems more efficiently.

7. Seek Professional Help – If you have stomach infection you go to a doctor, if you have leakage in a pipe, you go to the plumber, if you want to build a new building you go to an architect and an engineer. However, when you have an emotional issue, you simply ignore it or start getting it treated from the people who are messed up in their own lives and have no idea how to help you out. It’s like asking a plumber to fix your tooth. If you are unable to handle your mental health issues, find professional help. People who have been trained to diagnose and treat your issue correctly. First, try what can make you feel better and help you move out of the current situation or emotion. If nothing works, then go to a professional psychiatrist or psychologist and ask for help.

Remember, to every night there is a day. To every sunset, there is a sunrise. To every problem, there is a solution. Just hold on a little longer, just hold on till you are a little stronger and then hit hard and create your path.

You too shall win. You too shall thrive. Create your story and share with the world.

Post your thought in the comment box below and let the world hear what you want to say. Don’t hold it inside you. We are hearing.

And to dear Sushant Singh Rajput, you have inspired a lot of people to pursue their dreams, we hope your soul rest in peace. Your death has awakened the masses to talk about depression and mental health. I hope this wave never stops. People love a little more and hate a little less and make this world a better place to live in. Nobody else ends up giving up on their life. The most precious gift given to us by nature is our life and we need to value every life that surrounds us.

PS: Everything I wrote here is from my heart, using things I learned, using things I practised. All of us have problems, but somewhere I learned that we are bigger than our problems, we just need to hold on long enough for things to work out.

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