Have you ever faced a situation which seemed to be a big problem, but sooner or later you realized that it was a blessing in disguise? We often get opportunities wrapped up as difficulties, forcing us to move out of our comfort zone. It could be because of higher studies opportunities outside our home town, a business opportunity beyond our current capabilities or even something more personal, like marriage with a person living outside our home town or even in another country. No doubt, it sounds interesting, but it does come with its share of doubts and fears.
Here, you can choose to consider this as a positive opportunity towards growth, or a negative event forcing you to leave all you once had and move into the unknown, into unknown places with unknown people. Most people will experience a mix of both the feelings at some point in time. However, which feeling we give most importance to is going to determine our experience and hence our opportunities. So, it makes more sense to choose the positive aspects of the current conditions and look for a way forward.
A new city will remain new until and unless you find friends who can act like family. To remove our doubts on whether or not the new place is for us, we need to take initiative to meet new people and find new friends. The onus of making the new city our own lies on us. However, once we succeed, we ensure our long-term bond with the place.
So, let’s discuss five ways that can help you socialize in the new city:
- Find volunteering opportunities: Finding opportunities to volunteer is one of the most effective ways of creating lasting bonds along with contributing towards the society. Even if you can contribute only 1 or 2 hours a week, make it happen. Make sure you go with the mindset of helping and contributing instead of just making contacts. When you genuinely want to give, you get abundance in return. You might just end up meeting your next business partner or create some life-long friendships while you are busy spreading smiles to those in need.
2. Use online resources: Use social media to your advantage. Unlike old days, today we have internet and tons of application to cater to our needs. Join groups related to your new city and follow them for upcoming events or meetup opportunities. Some of the applications you can use, depending upon your location, are Meetup, Eventbrite, Groupspaces, Meetin, Foursquare, Citysocializer, Meeting Star along with the regular facebook or watsapp groups. You can find a lot of free events or meetups near you. Be open to meet new people the moment you get an opportunity and hence make lasting bonds.
3. Be willing to travel alone and see the city: While it is extremely important to have friends, but they should not be the people you are dependent on to create happiness for yourself. Instead of being a couch potato on your holiday, choose the active life and move around the city. Visit the coffee shops, art gallery or just go for your favorite hobby and look for people who share similar interests. Don’t wait for others to start a conversation with you because chances are they might be waiting too.
Use public transport as much as possible because it is going to give you the actual view of the new place and make you feel comfortable with the new adventure. It might feel odd for the first time, but with time you will start enjoying your own company and would open you to new experiences.
4. Be a good friend: Before asking for a good friend, be one. Be authentic and accept people as they are, instead of judging them. The less you judge others, the more there is scope to love them for who they are. This doesn’t mean that you would blindly trust them, instead be actively cautious, keep your personal information to yourself and talk about generic topics of interest. At the same time, keep the doors open for future communication. It takes time and effort to build long term relationships so go slow and explore the compatibility on the go.
5. Patience is the key to success – It might take a little longer than you are expecting things to work for you the way you want. You need to practice patience and continue your efforts. Maybe the first ten or fifteen people you meet don’t want to create any kind of bond with you. Don’t dwell into the reasons and start self-sabotaging behavior of blaming yourself for not being good enough or worth enough. Keep moving to the next person and soon you will start creating your own success stories. You would need to put in effort for the first 5 friends you make, and the chain will start where you meet more people through the people who are now your friends.
In a nutshell, it can be said that though it will take some time and effort for you to create a good social circle, the benefits you would reap would be enormous. It would ensure you want to stay longer in the city and achieve your goals. Just remain patient, don’t hesitate in asking for help and be open to new experiences.
Let life discover you!!